I once got a response via phone from Henry Jaglom after I sent him a story. In the story I had written the line “sadness beyond sadness beyond sadness. The subtleties of sadness squared.” I’ve always liked that line. Now when I see sadness in the world or feel it in myself I try to forgive myself for being both too observant and too weak not to be strong. Sometimes sadness pulls you down. You can’t be who you are. You are caught up in a web of bureaucracy concerning your job or what you do, how you deal with people in the world today. I was mean yesterday when I worked in the world. I had little patience. Why? Because of fear related to a current health issue. So I was mean. I was short with people. Today on the phone I dealt with an employee of an organization who could not listen to reason. It made her mad and her cackles raised visibly through the phone for trying to get out a single self-explanatory sentence. I let her win. Didn’t feel like fighting that penultimate topsiders war.
But, yeah, being a jerk in everyday life. I guess we all have to admit we are like that sometimes. Sometimes we are THAT guy. Or girl. Whatever. No. Ever. Really. So, we go through life half in and half out. Good and bad. Go forward? Move ahead? Do I deserve to succeed? Do I really care about my skills in service of a career? Wouldn’t I really rather just be at the beach, but if only I hadn’t bought the corporate lie and I’m such a shmuck and…Doubt. Our doubts are traitors lookin’ to ruin what we’ve might ‘ev got. Shakespeare.
I wasn’t nice. She wasn’t nice. She was stupid and I was smart. She was a moron and I was a moron. How many morons will you come in contact with today? One? Two? Three? None? Hope so. None. But it’s either going to be me to you or you to me so it goes to reckon that we should work on being appropriately signifying in how we deal with each other. We don’t just arbitrarily change the rules. We don’t harm one another to win an argument we know we can never win. But we win anyway. Winning. So many people have beaten victory over the head of real winners of the argument that they must be walking wounded. Good? Bad? Good? Bad? I have to call my senator and say he will be committing a criminal act by voting for the tax reform bill. The bill is a bad thing. But why should I have to call him? What happened to good old fashioned common sense? When you have to win all the time you don’t really care about that. You just want out of the vicious cycle that you thought you were supposed to throw yourself into as a younger person to be a success. Then you found yourself in the game. Good. Bad. Good. Bad. Look at the problem that Sarah Huckabee Sanders got herself into by aligning herself with a man like Donald J. Trump. Trump is having problems and therefore so is she. Good. Bad. Good. Bad.
moronamerica 